Bow to $$$$

If there was ever a god one should pray to, it should be the omnipotent and omniscient god of the economy, universally recognized by the symbol $$$$, referred to by the more colloquial name “Mula” (Moo-La), and head of the religion known as Economism. 

Unlike other gods, that primarily care about people's morals and social behavior, Mula solely cares about money. Rather than sit back and passively watch your acts, tallying them up for checkpoints every once in a while, Mula acts in a tangible manner, generating swings in the markets to reflect his feelings. If you have a lot of money, you will most likely be rewarded with more money, if you are greedy, Mula might reward you with opportunities to take advantage of the system. Mula uses the power of inflation and deflation to crush infidels and keep followers in check. When your portfolio is down or your house has been foreclosed, you know you have displeased Mula. And although most gods tolerate other faiths, Mula is not merciful. Whether you believe in Economism or not, Mula will still affect your life.

For those thinking about converting to Economism, here are some brief facts about the religion:

God: $$$$

Guiding Principle: "Survival of the richest"

Commandments:

  • Thou shalt always want more
  • Thou shalt treat thine own as a means for more
  • Thou shalt maximize thine own utility
  • Thou shalt value yourself by your assets
  • Thou shalt trust in $$$$
Prayer System: Prayers are answered in descending prayer bid value

Founding Father: Adam Smith

Notable Prophets: 

  • Warren Buffet
  • William H. Gates
  • George Soros

Cities with the highest concentration of followers (circa 2009):

  • New York City
  • London
  • Tokyo
  • Los Angeles
  • Dubai

Most Popular Joke:

"Praying to God ain't gonna give you money, or pay your bills!" (when talking to other religions)


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