Youthful Contradictions


“When I grow up, I’m never going to do (or be like) that.” - A common thought from a youth.
It’s fascinating how things change, and more fascinating when you realize you have changed. I’ve recently noticed myself acting like my parents in certain situations; sometimes friends will point it out, but I’ve also done it when no one’s looking, as in, it’s not for show. The common adage is that people tend to act more like their parents as they age, and it makes sense, nature and nurture - you’re genetically predisposed, and you grew up in an environment where that’s what you learned to do. No surprise here.

What’s more surprising, is how many of the things I used to “hate,” I now fully embrace. Take writing, English was my least favorite class in school, by far, and writing assignments were the worst - hard and boring. Now, I blog in my spare time, or at least attempt to; it’s still hard, but I find it worthwhile. I was not enthralled by reading either. A good sci-fi book every now and then, sure, but why read when you can play video games, play sports, or hang out with friends? Now I read a lot everyday (if you count the internet) and make reading books a part of my daily routine. Eerily similar to “read a chapter a day” homework assignments. To make matters worse, I write a synopsis for every book I read. Sound familiar? My own self-imposed book report? HOW IS THIS WHAT I DO FOR FUN AS AN ADULT?

Either the U.S. education system was just as influential as my parents on my upbringing, or something else is going on. Maybe when we’re young, we’re not only naively invincible, but we assume to have infinite reserves of time and capacity. As a teenager, a book report is a repetitive, rote task for an expansive and clear mind. As an adult, in a world full of distractions, writing down your thoughts to remember concepts and improve your recall is freeing.

English class habits are not alone, I have come to appreciate many other activities that I disliked when I was younger:  

  • Exercising for the sake of exercising, i.e. running. Teen: "The most boring thing imaginable, like being a hamster on a wheel." Adult: "It’s important to stay healthy." 
  • Eating in moderation. Teen: "Why would I stop eating chocolate and pizza? If it tastes good I want more." Adult: "Eating the right amount of food is much more satisfying in the long-run. Metabolism blah blah blah" 
  • Talking to relatives on the phone. Teen: "Ugh… I’m lazy and have other things to do." Adult: "It’s important to stay in touch with the people I care about." 
  • Staying in for the night. Teen: "I’m trapped, a prisoner in my own home! I want to go out, do stuff, and be with friends." Adult: "I prefer to do things from the comfort of my home." 
  • Self-image. Teen: "I want to be liked." Adult: "Care less what others think, I tend to enjoy the "curmudgeon" label because I am happy with myself."

Corollary: Most things that are cool when you’re young, turn out to not be so cool when you’re older. Examples include: Fashion style (self-explanatory), Fighting (peace >> war), and having your own house and car (responsibility for maintenance, insurance, and upkeep is work). 


Is maturity the negation of all our teenage instincts, until we learn to enjoy the things we used to hate? It’s a good thing we all grow up. Unless, it doesn’t stop there. In adulthood, there’s a fair bit of practicing what you “hate.”
In conversation
  • People say things they explicitly don’t want to say. Anytime you hear “I don’t mean to be rude, but… ”, expect to hear something rude.
  • People tend to discuss things they hate, venting to you and everyone else. They end up spending more time complaining than thinking about things they actually like.

In habits
  • Guilty pleasures - People claim to hate the fast food they secretly enjoy eating.
  • Correctness - People want to be right, but hate to admit when they’re wrong.
  • Commuting - Adults hate long commutes, but few do anything to change them.
  • 24hr news cycle - Everyone hates the inflammatory content, but can’t stop paying attention.

In politics
  • Debates descend toward the lowest common denominator. People go to places they claimed they never would go.
  • Power grabs emanate from people that admonish others for trying to do the same.

In business.
  • Being the boss requires a lot of work that no one wants to do (i.e. firing personnel).
  • Successful startups compete with heartless mega-corporations, eventually winning… to only become the evil company they displaced.

When does it end?

Seems to be human, learning by correcting the ignorant naiveté of our former selves. It’s clear some pills are easier to swallow, like realizing we don’t have infinite time and we’re not invincible. But recognizing the hypocrisy of our actions, that will take time.

I look forward to finding out how much I hated the future me.

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