Surprising Lens

Here’s a model to view the world, through the lens of *surprise*. With a surprising lens, you quickly realize that there are two kinds of people in this world: those who like surprises and those that don’t. Here are some examples:

• Movies. For some (most), spoilers ruin a movie, somehow others (a few) don’t mind them. The others are usually the same people who talk during a movie to clarify plot details, and, similarly, most of us can’t stand the interruptions.
• Parties. Those that like to plan all the details, and those that enjoy the surprise birthday.
• Gifts. Some people know exactly what they want, and others prefer to be delighted by others’ intentions.
• Babies. Some people need to know the gender of their child ahead of time, others can’t wait for the surprise.
• Exercise. Some people believe in a strict regimen of workouts planned throughout the week, while others prefer to have more random exercises to keep their body guessing.
• Travel. Planners make sure to have a complete itinerary, and the rest go with the flow.
• Sports. Fans that cheer for the underdog, and fans that support the favorite.

Drawing this out further, there’s a spectrum of wonder, where predictability is on one end and complete surprise is on the other end. Where your affinity lands on the spectrum varies by activity. For example, I like the concept of a surprise birthday party, but I’m more of a planner when it comes to travel; the opposite may be true of someone else. Furthermore, the surprising lens tends to be quite polarizing, with little room for moderation. I’d be hard pressed to find someone that is indifferent to gender reveal parties.

The polarization draws clear contrasts: state of wonder vs. state of knowing, being present vs. thinking ahead, flexibility vs. control, serendipity vs. routine, open vs. closed, creative vs. prescriptive, risk appetite vs. risk aversion.

What can we learn?

Upon introspection, I fall into the surprise-loving bucket for fun, social activities where I perceive there to be little consequence: movies, sports, art, parties. However, when there are “real” risks I take a more measured approach: such as studying in school, work, travel, or making big purchases.

Do we only choose to wonder when there is less risk? Should we break out of our routines more often to open up our minds? Do we idolize people for taking leaps of faith, where we would not? Here are some broad lessons I’ve pieced together:

• You can learn a lot about what people value and assume when they are surprised. It is ironic, that some of the most surprising feats are built over years of preparation and planning. The movie, Free Solo, documents Alex Honnold’s ascent of El Capitan. While 99.99% of the human population (including the climbing community) assumed this feat to be impossible, rest assured that Alex was on the other end of the spectrum having spent ~10 years training for the climb.
• A person’s affinity for surprise is highly correlated with their risk-profile for a given activity. For example, someone who does not know how to swim is going to listen very carefully to their swim instructor, rather than jump straight into the deep end. Whereas someone who plays a lot of blackjack is not going to sweat their losses when learning to play craps.
• Understanding a person’s affinity for surprise is key to effectively communicate with them. Most notably, a risk-averse person in a high-risk situation prefers to rely on logic rather than faith, before taking an action. For example, in hospital settings, healthcare providers are constantly managing expectations due to the gravity of the environment.
  

As I delve deeper, conduct a thought experiment to see how much time and effort it would take to surprise someone you know. Then conduct an inverse experiment to see how much time and effort it would to take to prevent someone from being surprised. Surprise me with what you learn.